Why me?

                                                                          Why me?

I know I have said those words before. I hear newly dx-ed parents and kids say it too. When your child is sick with an incurable disease it is really easy to utter that phrase over and over. Realistically, why not me doesn’t get said much. Diabetes is hard. Very hard. When Coop was first dx’ed I went home from the hospital to grab some stuff for our stay and I sobbed the whole drive home and back. I cursed God. I was pissed. When I got back to the hospital I noticed a room on my son’s floor had a little girl with a shaved head. Her mom had shaved her head too. It knocked the wind out of me. Here they were fighting something that has no cure, and here I was sobbing that my kid has a disease that there is medicine for. I felt true guilt but you know what? I was and am entitled to feel sorry for my kid and myself. Yes, he can take insulin but he has to work to live every single day. If he slips, he could die. Teenagers seem to be the ones dying of this disease for that very reason. They slip up and it is fatal. Our house will always count carbs. Our house will always have a quick sugar in each room “just in case”. Our house will always be different because we have to deal with the stupid beast that diabetes is. I get offended when people downplay it and say “It’s just diabetes”. I just want to scream at them. Everyday my son wakes up and tests at least 4 times a day. Every time he eats he has to count carbs and inject himself with insulin to account for it. If he exercises at all, even playing with his buddies, he needs to carry a quick sugar in case he goes low. I could go on and on. Then there is me trying to care for him and provide for him (FYI: the supplies, medical bills, and meds are EXPENSIVE even with insurance). So, guess what? I can have my why me/us days and so can you. I think it would be weirder for me to not have them and yes on those rare good days I sometimes think “Why not me”. Maybe I am meant to do something great with the Diabetes community? Maybe I will just be the loudmouth that spreads awareness?  I guess we will just have to wait and see.

-Patti

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